you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
