Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
