would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
