We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
