.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Couch. On fire.
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