really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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