I'd wear matching sweaters with you
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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