i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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