I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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