So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
