Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
