Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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