Swine flu. Run for my life!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
