What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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