Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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