once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
