Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I should be sponsored by Trojan
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
