well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
