Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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