its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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