Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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