Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
