i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
