I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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