he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
