On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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