Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
