Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
