hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
