We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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