Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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