There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
