You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
