I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
