I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
