I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
