A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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