I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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