I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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