Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
