i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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