North Korea, Best Korea!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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