can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
