id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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