He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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