Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
