she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
