If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
