worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
