I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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