so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
