you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
