I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
