At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
