I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize