The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
