when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
