Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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