yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize