I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
