grandma shit on top of the toilet
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The air was thick with penises
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
When are your genitals available?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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