There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
