Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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