I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
