Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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