all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
