I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
