i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
