I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
