what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
