At least make sure they are 18
Why
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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