If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
